Minoxidil was the big winner at the Emmy Awards.

Congrats, no one is balding anymore.

Hello!

I was distracted by two visuals at the Emmy Awards the other night: male hairlines and Shailene Woodley. It doesn’t seem like going bald is a thing in LA, and it’s not just Ben Affleck, bless his heart.

The standouts for me were Noah Wyle and Tom Pelphrey, both fine actors and worthy of awards for their performances and blah, blah. But Noah Wyle has clearly either made a visit to Turkey or is a walking advertisement for Minoxidil. Ditto Pelphrey, who looked like he was wearing a hair helmet.

Read: Fake hair is the veneers of the 2010s.

There were others with suspiciously longer and more lustrous locks (John Mulvaney, I’m looking at you, and, Jason Segal, I hardly knew ye) and all seem to be going to the same colorist? No shame, or, shame, I honestly don’t have a dog in the fight — but if it were women, there would be think pieces.

And then there was Shailene Woodley. What’s the point of talking about anything else when Shailene wore this:

My DMs started almost immediately:

… and so on.

Guys. I don’t know. Her stylist is Karla Welch and she’s normally amazing. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Here it is on the runway from the Balenciaga Fall/Winter 26 Haute Couture:

Ovi No. Olivia Yes.

Alex Ovechkin was in a pro-Vladimir Putin campaign ad this week. Super-weak response by the Capitals: “This summer, while in Russia, he was asked by his country to participate in a video campaign. As the longest-tenured athlete in Washington, D.C. and a pillar of the community, his focus and ours is on the season ahead and the continued impact he makes on the ice and in our city.”

Olivia Nuzzi, formerly of DC, now of LA, was part of group of 100 stylish women appearing in a new ad for Argent, this gen’s power suit label, which is celebrating its ten-year anniversary. (Check out the Georgetown store, and when you do, go into the new Frankie’s Bikinis that opened because it’s right there too — get this reversible one on sale. And the Clare V store to tell me if I should bite the bullet and get this bag I’ve been stalking for a month. Skip the Veronica Beard boutique because the over saturation of VB outfits in DC is real.) I personally love that Olivia continues surprise and I miss her in Washington. She could also teach the Caps’ spox at thing or two about statements: “Donatella Versace once said ‘A dress, for a woman, is a weapon.’ If that’s true, then a suit is a tool of diplomacy.” - Olivia Nuzzi

Jeff Zients’ house is for sale for $18,750,00. Cool, cool.

It’s right near where I live so I walk by it a lot and think about how poor I am. Zients was chief of staff for Joe Biden, and before that worked in the Obama administration.

The house is pretty spectacular. Check it out below and here.

But unlike most Biden people, several of whom have left town, Zients, one of the OG founders of the Call Your Mother chain, I’m told, is deep in renovations on a new place, which, at about $17,000,000, is almost as much as the one he’s selling now. This is apparently the new digs - one of D.C.’s most storied properties that stretches like a full block in Georgetown and was basically abandoned for years and I’m sure is haunted in the very best way. It’s where Ulysses S. Grant lived after the Civil War. Anyhoo, I hear it’s almost ready for move-in…

Cigarettes Aren’t Just Back, They’re BAAAAACK

It’s legit cool to smoke in the popular culture vernacular. Again, not here to judge. I started smoking when I was 15; Marlboro Reds I’d sneak with my friends behind the wall of a building about a half-mile down the road from the main campus of Miss Porter’s School, where I went to boarding school. I kept it up — out in the open — on and off through my 20s and finally quit somewhere in my 30s.

Right now though, every cool party feels like the living room at my grandmother’s house, where she filled little Hermès trays with loose Vantage cigs and there were dainty gold lighters everywhere. If you’re hosting, and you don’t have cigarettes on offer just for the vibes, who even are you?

Last week I bought this one-holder, $35 “The Loosey” from Ossa New York, the company that makes the crossbody phone things I use. I’m not proud, but I’m forever one of the cool kids, and I’ll still sneak one from time to time.

I Don’t Feel Like Doing a Whole Fall Fashion Thing

You just need a coat or two. Get this one from Sezane, and this one from Zara. Wear them with everything from jeans to a lace slip dress. Boom, you’re the chicest person in DC.

Date Count

Since last we spoke, I’ve gone on two dates. One was a very golden retriever energy 30-year-old law student/USNA grad. The other was a consultant. Navy lawyer boy will get a second, but I’m as over consultants as much as DC should be over Veronica Beard.

I hope you survived all of the August photo dumps set to Taylor Swift and are girding your loins for the Earth, Wind & Fire “September” reels …